i'm constantly being asked "What do you need?"... It's amazing... It's humbling... It's generous...
So here's a quick list of the things "i need" in case you're interested...
Peace. i need stillness inside when there's none to be seen around me. i need quietness in my mind when my ears are filled with crying and whining. i need breath when the task seems too heavy to carry. Therefore... i need my time every single day with Jesus. Hearing from His Word... conversing with Him in prayer... being filled & re-filled with His Spirit... & therefore... His peace.
Decisions Made. i have somehow lost my ability to make decisions. This is a dangerous statement because i've always been one of the most indecisive people i know... perhaps... maybe... let me think about it for a while & see if i can think of any one more indecisive & get back to you on it. So losing what little ability i once possessed is kinda pathetic. So if you see me wandering around in Kroger with a dazed look in my eyes just toss some household necessities in my cart & tell me that i can go home now.
Clothes that Fit. Every momma hates this body phase. i'm not complaining about weight gain or skin that hangs where the baby used to hang out... i'm talking about this in-between my maternity wardrobe & my real person clothes. It's an ugly reality that every pair of pants in my house either cuts into my momma belly or falls off my rear-end. So when you see me out in public... just focus on the cute hat i'm probably wearing...
Coffee. Liquid motivation. i have 4 kids 2 of which are infants... so my coffee need is pretty self explanatory. Also it just feels like a treat... i can make it sweet & creamy & sip it when i have to get going in the morning... i can make a special stop for it if i pass a Sheetz (i adore Sheetz)... i can chat with friends while we drink it... it convinces me my husband & friends love me when they bring it to me... so very lovely.
Lunch. And breakfast for that matter. For the past to weeks i continuously find myself realizing it's the afternoon and i haven't really eaten anything of substance... It's not that i don't mean to eat. i truly even go to the kitchen multiple times to eat... but then i get distracted. So while you're throwing things in my Kroger cart please include lots of Starbucks Vias & some granola bars & muffins... Thanks in advance.
Team Work. i can't carry all the bags my children & i require while carrying said children. i was super buff before this pregnancy (body image is always better in a rear-view mirror), but not longer can lift heavy items easily. i know this for sure as i daily try to lift 2 infant carriers. i have no game plan for if i would need to use a public restroom when out with my kids without my husband or friends. It has been incredibly cool to get this chance to "team-build" with my studly husband, adorable "big kids", and dear friends. i couldn't do it without all of you... & if i tried it wouldn't be nearly as awesome. Today i folded clothes with my friends... one held the currently non-content baby while the other folded & i put them right away (while Brice made lunch for Mic). It was the fastest, most efficient, most enjoyable (yes... coffee was involved) laundry experience i've ever been a part of. Let's not keep this limited to moms who have 2 infants... i want to be a part of this scene in differing roles from here on out.
A Massage. Seriously... those infant car seats are stinking heavy! And there is no proper posture for pumping while nursing. And the couple of times i've tried nursing both at once it's kinda resembled an infant wrestling match on my lap... Plus the big kids need held & loved on too. Maybe i could train one of them to rub my back...
To Run. Not away... just for a little jog. It clears my mind. It settles my emotions. It makes me feel like me. It's kinda like using the pavement to worship...
A Better Way to Convey Gratitude. i'm in DESPERATE need of this. There is simply no way to thank all of my family, friends & community for their outpouring of love. We are undeserving of your elaborate generosity. i'm often moved to tears by your thoughtfulness. You feed us, support us, buy us groceries, stock us with diapers, show up with coffee, watch our kids, love us, take us in when we're cold, pass on clothes, call me, hold my babies, give our big kids special treatment, do my dishes, clean for me, wash our clothes, help us (OK... help Brice) fix things... you ask me what we need... and seek to fulfill it. i need a way to show each of you how full you make my heart. i need a way to let you feel that you have been God's generous hand of provision for us...
... and i need a plumber. The kids bathroom is stressing me out because nothing in there works properly!!!
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