I hear a sweet, but firm voice of warning... I hear the caution in the Scripture... I see the red flags in lives around me... The cadence of God's calling from the multiple perspectives I've held... Pastor's kid, lay-person, pastor's wife, pastor's wives friend... There are common trappings so let us all pay with our attention...
There is caution that I must have... That I must share...Let us be warned...
Of the disdain for the time your husband spends away from you... For it shows you're trying to squeeze satisfaction out of your husband that will only come from God... And it leads to hatred of those God has called you to serve. (Is. 54:5)
Of the constant fear of what "they think of you"... Even if they actually say it. For you are not called to fear what man (or women) can do to, or say about, or think of you, but only fear what God says. Anything you spend more time considering than His Word shows that you are worshipping another god... And the idol of success with man is a cruel ruler. (1 Pet 3:14-15)
Of the deep desire to make a home for yourself... It's a natural, God-given desire, but it comes with the warning that we have not yet seen the home our Savior is preparing for us. When we try to satisfy this desire with a homestead and matching family we will begrudge parsonages (& their fleeting nature) or grumble over our nests which hampers hospitality. The danger even in finding a satisfying home is that we grow deep roots into is that we may not recognize the Holy Spirit moving us onward... For this is not our home. It is all only temporary. Love it appropriately. (Mat 8:20 & John 14:1-4)
Of your pride in your husband... For you both have been called only to live the same Christian life from the platform that those in the theoretical pews have been called to. You're in the body together and Christ alone is the Head... Never the pastor. Be humbled that you get the frontrow seat to the imperfect man who God chooses to shine thru. Be inspired that you are the same... And lead on those surrounding you to the exact same call in their lives. (Isaiah 2:10-12)
Your desire for privacy... For that can come too close to a desire to hide. Instead allow the light of Jesus to illuminate anything in you that He so chooses. Refuse to allow pride to keep your struggles secret. Fight against the lie that you must have it "together" because of others wrong expectations. Deny embarrassment over how God provides for you. Hold high the chains from your past that Jesus has freed you from. Let them see your imperfect children being shaped by the God who is responsible for their growth. Let them cry with you so that you can celebrate together. You are called to be the one who refuses to shrowd the glory of what Jesus is doing with the mask of Sunday morning bests... That others may find freedom to join you in the light. (Luke 8:17)
Of any defense other than The Defender... For all the schemes of man will fail... Even if they are your own. You have trusted your heart to its Creator. He did not promise that you would not hurt. He promises to use the brokenness. Bitterness is indeed a poor protector... For it simply invites the hurt to reside there permanently. Repent. Be quick to cry, for the tears of the saints are a sweet offering to the God who will take the time to wipe your dear cheeks dry and make right each wrong you have willingly followed Him through. (Ps. 28:7-9 & Rev 21:4)
I hear these warnings in my heart. I pray it is in the sweet voice of Jesus which you hear them as well... We are in this together my sisters.