Let me count the ways you love me...

- you special order my chocolate covered strawberry blizzard with cone dip instead of chocolate chunks even though DQ's drive-thru speaker is the worst...

- you haul the trash can up our steep driveway in the dark every Monday night...

- you still watch sequel movies with me even though I'm incapable of remembering what happened in the previous movie or who the actors are...

- you work out with me...

- sometimes you lay on my side of the bed before I get in it so it's already warm...

- you interrupt my craziness with a real kiss...

- you always have to show me anything that makes you laugh so I can laugh too... 

- you wrote this on our mirror: 

- you rub my feet even though it ruins your thumbs...

- you work hard in the office then come home & serve & love & work & parent & play hard...

- you still read my blogs even though I continuously use amphersands...

- you value my input...

- you (now) always squish the milk container as soon as you empty it because I complained once about having to squish it after the milk remnants already smelled sour...

- you help me break overwhelming projects & scenarios into manageable steps when I'm freaking out...

- you fight with me...

- you don't think of me or treat me as irrational... Even though there are times I act irrationally...

- you'll listen to problems I have that you can't fix, and hug me when I hurt and you can't make it stop...

- you brag about me...

- you go to the grocery store for me so I don't have to drag kids with me even though you feel like it's an alien planet...

- you do the budget with me...

- you hulk out when my feelings get hurt, but don't react out of anger...

- you like to hear me sing...

- you refuse to let me settle for sitting next to each other while we escape seperately to Facebook or games as quality down time... 

- you take pictures of me...

- you attempt to surprise me...

- you answer honestly... Every time...

- you miss me when we're apart...

- you always plunge the toilets so I don't have to...

- you support my running habit...

- you bring me tasty coffees...

- you maintain both of our vehicles...

- you discuss spending with me before you buy things...

- you landscape our yard...

- you chop the onions so I don't have to get all weepy in the kitchen (& you cut them into tiny pieces for the salsa since that's how I prefer them)...

- you give me your opinion...

- you buy me things when I won't spend money on myself...

- you teach me... lots of stuff...

- you recognize how God is using me... And make sure I hear it too...

- you dye my hair...

- you apologize and mean it...

- you intentionally check in with me on how "we are doing"...

- you strive to live a life totally surrendered to the Holy Spirit and allow me a front row seat to see who He's transforming you into...

- you have have my portrait tattooed across your back... Just kidding. (He really doesn't.)

- you will be adorably embarrassed that I posted this...

... But you need to know how well you love me. I. Am. Blessed. 

To all readers who are not my husband... 

I used to have a  different list. 

I started it in one of the darkest points in our marriage... It was a list of things I love about Brice. Maybe it was a suggestion from a session of marriage counseling, or from a marriage book I read, or maybe a simple prompting from the Holy Spirit... I don't recall why I started it. But I would add something to the list in the moments when my heart was most craving the fantasy of escape... When the temptation to dream of how much better another circumstance that I was not in would wage war on my mind... When I couldn't come up with something to write, I would simply read it... God held us together. And He grew my list. 

This is not that list. 

Brice asked me how he could love me. That is a perfect question. But I no longer have a huge list of answers ready on the tip of my tongue (like I would've ten or six years ago). God has used our messy marriage to remove my desire for my husband to do my Savior's job. God has filled my heart with Himself and my husband is my favorite icing on top... And he apparently doesn't realize how good he is at loving me...

Do not use this to fuel your fantasy list for your spouse. Don't start imagining that our marriage is perfect. Just know that God can hold you right where you are. He can use the circumstance you're in, the pain you feel, the battle you're fighting. Hear me that we are not perfect... But our God is. Follow Him closely as He transforms your marriage, or singleness, by transforming your heart to reflect His own. Be inspired by my list, then go start your own...