Thoughtful little fellow...
And at the risk of sounding like a awful mother... I'm actually enjoying our spur of the moment get away. I'm not enjoying his RSV (hence the synergist vaccines he was injected with all "RSV season" to prevent this), or his sleepiness, or the tubes, or his struggle breathing... But there are some reasons that I'm probably having a better week than you...
That's what's happening here, people. Being upright helps him clear the junk out of his lungs. So I hold him and we rock and he cuddles and sleeps. This is primarily how he can decipher daytime from nighttime here. Nighttime he sleeps in the bed. Daytime he sleeps on mom. Days of solid snuggle time don't happen at home, so I'm stocking up here for the price of a bunch of mucus on my shoulder.
2) Better Odds
At home it's 2 on 4. This keeps the man & me in perpetual motion. Here it's like 40 on 1. Seriously. I can just sit and rock the baby while meds are given, laundry is done, the room is cleaned, boogers are retrieved from the nose and throat with a mini vacuum, food is prepared and delivered... There's a team of people caring for my child instead of one person caring for a team of children. Although that's what Brice is currently doing at home (AND looking good), but I'm able to help line up sitters and meals and reschedule appointments with ease. I never knew what a breeze texting and phone calls could be when not shin deep in laundry and dishes and appointments with two toddlers on my hips!
3) Restaraunts and Shopping
I sat in the hot sunshine and ate Panera Bread for lunch today (& yesterday). This definitely qualifies as a vacation. I soaked in the sun and ate delicious carbohydrates by myself. It was incredibly restorative. Then I got to bargain shop at target. (I bought the cutest fedora for $2.48... I might have a hat problem.) Seriously, folks! Y'all keep asking me how I'm holding up while I'm sipping Starbucks! I feel like I should be baking you meals! Of course I don't have a stove available to me at the moment... But I could arrange a meal to be delivered via text message since we already established that I've currently got ample time for that.
I'm about 2 hours away from home and yet I've had 5 visitors in 3 days. Coffee and calories were delivered when I hadn't eaten all day. Balloons and baked goods were dropped off. Much needed conversation and prayer was had. On top of that I've received countless texts and messages of support and encouragement and offers of help. I bet you could use a visitor or some encouragement where you are... So know that wherever you are right now you are deeply loved and passionately pursued.
5) Jesus' Peace
Your prayers are being heeded. Jesus' presence is very evident to my heart, in my mind, and in Theo's health. Yes he has RSV. Yes he's hooked up to many wires and tubes. Yes it's hard on my heart to see him struggle. But thank The Lord it's just RSV. It will pass. He will heal. We're just managing the symptoms. We're amongst kids battling heart issues, bad accidents and cancer. We are sitting pretty with a virus.
Sure, worry continuously beckons my mind... "Will this mean he has to return to at home O2 use?" "Did he go too long at home with dangerously low O2 sats and damage his brain?" "Am I scarring my other three children by being away this week when we already have to be away from them next week?" "Are the nurses judging me for being gone for lunch for this long?"... But God is answering each question I throw at Him with a deep, lasting, sweet peace.
I don't know how long we'll have to stay here. But I know peace for this moment. And I can trust there will be peace for the moments to come. And if you had any clue how difficult sitting still indoors is for me, you too would recognize this as a miracle. I'm not working real hard to convince myself that Jesus is in control... I'm simply convinced that I'm not, and intentionally hearing Him whisper to my heart that He indeed is.
So maybe my week is kinda way better than yours has been going. But what if it has less to do with my Mother's Day hospital get away, and more with the voice of Jesus speaking to the ears of my heart? It's not like I have any more control of life when it's "normal" anyways.
“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful." John 14:27