Friday, February 22, 2013

46 Reasons Why That Mom Probably Feels Guilty

i hope you've seen that awesome blog post circulating Facebook & Pinterest "46 Reasons Why My Three Year Old Might be Freaking Out" (there you go in case you haven't seen it). It's funny because it's true... which happens to be my favorite type of funny!

This has inspired me to make my own list of 46 reasons... topic the ever present, never helpful mom-guilt...

She ate the last banana

She didn't sign the permission slip that was left in the backpack

Her baby slept through the night

The laundry hasn't made it to the dressers

She locked the bathroom door (& then looked at Facebook while in there)

She yelled

She stayed up too late

She checked her email while the baby nursed instead of holding eye contact for the full 17 minutes

She has secret ice cream

She didn't work out

She did work out

She feeds her offspring processed foods... some even containing red dye #9 

She truly doesn't even remember which dye color & number is the poisonous one that she's not supposed to feed her offspring... she's just guessing on the name for her blog post

She grabbed coffee with a friend... Then because she turned down coffee with a friend

Her kids are playing happily on their own

She hasn't started her baby on solids yet

Her baby started solids before 6 months (multiple babies, remember?!?)

She didn't notice that her son's pants were on backwards until after preschool

She makes her daughter sit through having her hair french braided

The TV sometimes comes on during the week

She doesn't read enough books... play enough games... coach enough sports teams...

She grew tired of "knock-knock" jokes 4.5 years ago

She didn't snuggle her baby enough

She did snuggled her baby too much and now the house qualifies for the show "clean sweep"

She corrected her children for talking with their mouths full while she had food in her mouth

Her baby "cries it out"

Her child's foot was in a shoe 2.5 sizes too small & she was clueless

The baby's diaper leaked

She says things like "you don't need sweets every day" to her kids... while having aforementioned "secret ice cream"

Bed sheets don't get washed as often as they should... & neither do the people who sleep in the beds

She has a limited rotation of dinners that she can make

She does/doesn't work outside the home... the guilt doesn't care which choice she made or her reasons for her choice

She throws away "art work" multiple times a day

She keeps too much stuff & doesn't have an easy, convenient storage system for all of it

She is cranky from lack of sleep

She turned the monitor down & got a good night's sleep

The child didn't make the team

She takes too many pictures & doesn't "live in the moment" enough

She doesn't give in

She does give in

Her 1st grader doesn't know how to tie her shoes... because she doesn't know how to teach her

Her kids bicker

She sometimes tunes the children out

She's not as great as other mom's appear

She cheated so her kid could win the board game

She puts on "baby TV shows" for her infants so she can take a shower

... the list could go on...

Non-moms won't understand... because honestly us moms don't understand. It doesn't make sense. It's not beneficial to moms or to those in direct contact with us. We can all council others on not being "too hard" on themselves, but we struggle to silence our own negative mental nagging. 

But that is an important struggle to not give up on. We need to let go of guilt by first releasing the idea that there's a "perfect" parent status that we can attain. We need to admit that we aren't perfect, we do make mistakes, we are as messy as life itself. We need to put our hope in a God who is bigger than our messes, wiser than our ignorance, and perfect enough for all our imperfections. 

Romans 8:1 states "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus". i recognize that the context of this statement is that the author is confessing that he often feels like he's losing in the battle against sin. but i'm thinking that if our faith in Jesus can free us from condemnation that we truly deserve because of our sins, then it's more than enough to also free us from our unfounded self condemnation... we just need to let it. 

By refusing to be overwhelmed by guilt that can easily be inserted in each & every decision we make, we can actually enjoy parenting. Let's get better at taking the advice we give others. Let's surround ourselves with those who will give us that good advice. And most importantly let's trust Jesus to be enough & simply seek to follow Him in our mothering.

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