Little Warrior Payne

Today I realized...

I was tired...

   Of being covered in spit up...

    Of concocting meals of just the right consistency to both challenge him to chew and yet not choke him that contain high calories, protein, fats, carbs & vitamins that won't make him even more constipated...

   Just to have said "meals" leak out of his button soaking his shirts & pants & seat & me...

     Of applying silver nitrate to his button bump just to see it bleed through his onesie but not seeing any difference in said bump...

   Of the crying...

     Of fighting to keep his hand out of his throat...

 Of remembering to give all of the medications he needs throughout the day at just the right intervals...

   Of wrestling him into submission to take said medicine...

  Of finding another sitter for the other baby for another doctor appointment...

    Of changing his wet outfits 5 times a day...

 Of teething...

Then the Holy Spirit tenderly opened my eyes to see what was right in front of me...

Theo...

  That it was his meals that were leaking and erupting from his little body...

    His skin that constantly feels damp...

   How much effort he has to give for everything he does...

  That his stomach must feel so strange emptying from so many directions...

     That grumpy is acceptable when constipated...

  His little gums must be so sore from working on breaking teeth through...

   How frustrating it must be to be denied his favorite self-soothing technique...

  He's the one tasting all the yucky medicines...

And yet he smiles... So much more often than he cries. 

He works SO very hard... Everyday. 

He giggles and wiggles and hugs. 

He faithfully takes in food... regardless of how it may exit his body. 

He tolerates my bad moods and irrational grumpiness... And still lights up when he sees me. 

He's constantly fighting. Every minute of every day. To grow & learn & function. He handles being in the thick of it all so much better than I handle my front row seat to his battle. He displays so much strength and grace and joy regularly... That the occasional grumpy spell is well earned. And I am blessed to be given such a close-up view. For here I get to cheer, and challenge, and assist, and pray over, and witness him. And it's true that this seat is currently in the "splash-zone" of stomach contents and medicine spills... But it's so small in comparison to all he feels and battles and will overcome.  

So while there are days where I will feel tired... I am learning from my baby how to handle struggles a little better along the way. 

Dear Princesses...

There are a few things i think you should know:

1) i'm talking to you. 
Yes, you. God Himself dreamed you up from an infinite amount of possibilities and put skin on you. He paid the price that you couldn't pay so that you could be a part of His royal family. One of His daughters. He's already accepted you, and when you receive that acceptance for yourself, you become a princess... You who are riding on the homecoming float, and you who are hiding under the bleachers. You are a princess. You who are currently admired and celebrated, and you who feel forgotten and lost. You are a princess. Regardless of how you look, how you feel, how old you are, how sick you are, how much you laugh or hide or cry. No matter how you imagine other people view you... or how they actually do... You are a princess. 

2) Get to know the King.
After all it is Him who has made you a princess. Don't assume that what others have told you about Him is enough. You are His daughter... know Him for yourself. For if you do not know God, then you will not know what good even is... for we are all insufficient at determining good. If you do not see Jesus, then you will not be convinced that He loves you when His love doesn't fit into our understanding. If you do not hear from the Father, how will you know which way to walk? For while you are a princess, you are not the omnipotent King... but you do have access to Him. Run into His throne room daily to be embraced by Him. Report your troubles and fears directly to His ears. Ask Him for what it is that you want and need. Listen to His power-filled voice singing over you... Know Him and be known by Him. For that is the true value of your royalty.

3) Princesses don't compete.
There is no need. Your Daddy is the King, therefore know who you are. Don't view other princesses as threats. You don't need to be fancier, or more adored, or wear more crowns, or carry more titles. You are already adored by the the Ruler of the world. You have arrived as far as esteem is concerned. The confidence of a princess is not put in who you are better than, prettier than, better dressed than, liked more than... it is simply that you are a chosen child of the Supreme Lord. Stop competing. Start living in that celebration.

4) Life's more like a battle than a pageant.
Don't be fooled into daily donning your most sparkly costume. Don't waste energy memorizing simple answers to hard questions that sound good but help nothing. Refuse to cover over who you really are with a mask of make-up that you are convinced others will like more. Develop your talents, but not to be voted by imaginary judges as better than those around you, but in order to gain honor for your royal family. Dress in a way that will protect you from the enemy who wants to steal your beauty and replace it with regret. Burn away hours seeking Truth and Wisdom at the feet of the all-knowing, generous King, so that your words will bring life where death is ringing. Let your weaknesses, and fears, and imperfections, and scars, and faults be seen by the audience in your daily life... for in that terrifying act of bravery you will allow those who are blind to see your God be enough. Be passionate. Be disciplined. Be bold. For there are masses, who right now, are starving, and bleeding, and falling, and dying both spiritually and physically... and you, as a princess, have the opportunity to fight for them. Ignore the lull of pageantry that will leave you feeling empty and hidden, and accept the call to battle that will truly free you to sparkle.

5) Your position is purposeful.
Your Father, the King, knows better than you. He has placed you where a princess is needed. Stop fantasizing about how magical other princesses must have it, and look around you. Your popularity does not define you. Your strength is not in yourself. Your riches do not provide for you. Your hope is not in your circumstances. You can shine from a dark corner with dirty, exhausted hands of faithful service to those God has called you. If God has placed you on a shiny platform... then shine and speak for Him. Don't just wave at the crowds who clamor to be seen by royalty. Show them how to join in the family. Determine in your mind daily to shine as a princess where you are, and trust the King to keep you and move you in perfect time.

This is just a brief excerpt from a love letter written to you by the King. Know that your status as a lovely princess of God is not reliant on any title man can give. i'm proud of my homecoming princesses. i root for my lovelies who compete in pageants... i just want you all to see the bigger reality of who you truly are. i hope it leaves you hungry to hear more. 

Check out some of these passages...
Psalm 45
Isaiah 62
1 Peter 2:9-17
Isaiah 43:1-6
1 Peter 1:3-9
Romans 8:14-18

My sweet birthday girl

I love that I've had 7 years of you...

I love how you smile... I love how perfect your lips have always been... How they pucker so sweetly when your face is relaxed... It's so fun that you're missing your two front teeth... And that one of those tooth-loss events has something to do with you biting a pillow & your brother tugging on it... 

I love your laugh... How currently you find anything having to do with hind ends, nostrils, or farting hilarious... You are a natural at movie quotes... You are improving on your joke telling skills... Which we are very grateful for... You are silly & free & contagious in your joy... I often pause to let my heart grow warm when I hear you giggling in another room...

I love your dreams... How you want to be a farmer, a doctor, a zoo dentist, a flavor-maker (our personal favorite), a teacher, an artist, a karate girl... And so many others that you labeled your bedroom door "job women" to simplify the sign-making process... I love that you dreamed of a boy named Luke... Who you have never met yet... I love that you are not limited nor driven by money... And you are right... We will miss you when you're grown up & live in China... Because China is very far away...

I love your heart... That you are aware and care that there are people who really are starving... I am in awe of the generosity the Holy Spirit has filled you with... It's so natural for you when it's been a struggle for me... It's awesome how you're constantly making surprise books for people... We enjoy the envelopes you deliver with hand written cards and candy from the drawer filling them... You always want to share about God... And I hope that doesn't change even as the microphone becomes less magical to speak into... I love watching your patience & acceptance of people who are different from you... You shine like a star in a dark world...

I love your heart for Jesus... Praying with you each day is a blessing... I'm inspired by your faith... You know Jesus heals... You are rightly convinced how much God cares about every thing we care about... Communion is something you regularly do with somber joy... I love how you want everyone to come to church with you... I love hearing you sing praise... I cherish your excitement at seeing God answer your prayers... It is awesome how you hide God's Word in your heart... Keep loving Him...

I love your skills... Your hoola-hooping skills... Your singing skills... Your drawing skills... Your bow staff skills... Your dancing skills... Your ability to teach others... Your imagination skills... Your monkey bar skills... Your knack for foreign languages... The scripts you're writing for your play are very good... You are given many talents... Much will be expected of you...

I love how you tell me your secrets... I love how you hug me... I love how you smell... I love how compassionate & passionate you are... I love how you figure things out... I love that you make-believe... I love how gorgeous you are... I love how determined you are... I love that you make a slurping noise & lick your chops to show that something is yummy... I love that you finish what you start... I love how you nudge me with your elbow when I tease you... I love that you love going in alphabetical order... I love that you tell me "I didn't like dinner, but I ate it anyways" just so I'm aware... I love that you know that I know how you like things... I love your servant heart... I love your encouraging words...

I could go on...

 I love you forever

a secret of love

i'm in love... it's no secret... in fact having no secrets is the secret to marriage i want to share with you...

My husband is amazing, hilarious, super handsome, strong, sweet, loyal, trustworthy, honest (to a fault at times), stubborn, talkative, my best friend, a great cook, tough, an incredible father, devoted, disciplined, fun, talented at many things, committed...

He holds me, calms me down, challenges me, dyes my hair, loves our children, builds me up, spoils me, tries to be patient, increases my fashion sense, makes me laugh, provides for our family, changes our cars oil, watches movies with me, teaches me, shows me videos that make me chuckle, understands me...

But he doesn't read my mind... Nor is he telepathic.

Therefore, if there is something i need or want or am considering; we have to engage in a highly complicated marital practice... talking. i have to tell him. 

i have to tell him what i feel. i have to say what i need. i have to put into words what i'm thinking... even when i'm not super at understanding myself.

So for our eleventh wedding anniversary i'm giving him the gift of literally spelling out what i want! i'm SUPER thoughtful like that! This way he doesn't have to spend any time or energy trying to figure it out!

Disclaimer: As you peer into my "what i'd like" list please know that some of these things i've already told him i want & therefore are already being taken care of... but a list is always good :)

Eleven Things i Want For Our Eleventh Anniversary:

1) A day off. i would like a day where i wake up & go. i'm unsure of where i'm going to go or what i'll do there... but i want to go & do. Specifically i don't want to figure out where our 4 lovely children are going to go or what they're going to do or how they're going to eat or sleep or so forth. It doesn't matter to me if you choose to 'Mr. Mom" it for the day or if you hire 4 babysitters and 2 housekeepers... whatever works. You just need to tell me what day this is happening. i guarantee my schedule is already open.

2) Flirting. Please don't mistake this for me asking for gag-reflex inducing PDA. i'm talking about sneaking in excuses to touch my hand or kiss my neck or compliment me or sit near me when we're outside of our home. i pretty much want to be regularly reminded that if i wasn't yours you would actively fight to change that. 

3) Surprises. Mostly i'm looking for yummy coffee beverages, cream that has been iced, coconut water, and things i randomly mention i would like but don't "need." Currently i don't have any items like that to mention to you... but i'll keep you posted.

4) Help with the kitchen. You've probably noticed that i'm drowning in dirty dishes. Having you stand next to me and wipe stuff up and talk to me and put things away helps me tremendously. Mostly i just need you there, where i am, in our crazy mess with me. i don't care if you put the dishes in the wrong place... i don't care if you explain the best way to wash a pan to me... i just need to know i'm not alone in the everyday. (This goes for laundry & vacuuming & the budget... but you're already know that.)

5) A foot rub. You're so amazing at rubbing my feet. You're incredible at letting me know you are always up for the chore. i'm not so good at asking for it... mostly because you work so hard and i fear turning into another thing you must take care of. i need to get better at taking you up on this offer.

6) Compliments. i trust your words more than any other human. i just need constant reminding. i recognize that it's my issue. Logically i know that if you tell me you like how i look in an outfit, then whenever i wear it you like it. But my insecurity is deeper than i'd like and it often denies logic. i need to know what you're thinking. i need to hear it over and over and over again. 

7) Your opinion. It's hard to convey to you how much it means to me that you read my blog. i regularly surrender this blog to the Lord and out of the grasp of the clutches of the idol "acceptance"'s hand. But it's still a fact that i float on clouds of confidence when you find what i write or how i write it to be clever. Just as important is when you tell me when it's not your favorite... for how else could i believe the nice things?

8) Fun. Sometimes i forget the importance of fun. Sometimes i'm too tired or too busy or too hormonal or too grumpy or too empty to pursue fun. But i need it. i need to remember that i'm me with 4 kids... not just a mother of 4. Getting away with you helps me remember. Laughing way to late into the night helps me remember. Being ridiculous helps me remember. Let's ride roller coasters or float on rafts or play a game or try a new recipe together... because you're good at fun... and i want to join you there.

9) You to be my Hero. Don't worry... you already are. But i want you to keep fighting to be that hero. Keep learning. Keep digging deep. Keep reading the Word. Keep obeying our Lord. Keep uncovering the depths of who you are. Keep tearing down the walls that keep you from accepting love fully. Keep training when you don't see results. Keep teaching me. Keep speaking life into our family. Keep being my hero.

10) Segway Ride & "Bouldering". It's not going to happen with two infants in tow... so a raincheck will have to do on our anniversary date. But lets do this...

11) You to read this. i respect you too much for you to be anyone but the first person to read this list. Also you kinda are my source of humor so i'm sure you can give me a few tips for improvement...

There's my list. If you are married make your own. True romance is not having a spouse who figures out what you need or want... but instead it's having a spouse who will listen to what you need and cares enough to make it happen. Yes it hurts worse if you say what you need and then don't get it. Yes we have been there before. Yes it's worth it anyway. Grow more open with your spouse today. 

Love you more than i knew i could 11 years ago...

Milk... It's what's for dinner.

 Nursing...

That's what this post is about. 

Not the medical kind either... So if you're squeamish about that or just male in general, feel free to skip right on over this post... Figuring out the answers to the "quandaries" post might be more your speed. 

But for any of you out there who have or are or are hoping to or have tried or have walked with someone who has... Let's be frank. Well not too frank... After all I'm guessing not too many people named Frank have nursed & I'd like to avoid a "parental advisory" label on my blog...

Nursing an oxymoron. It is amazing & traumatic & confusing & natural & simple & nerve racking & hard & messy & sweet & fleeting & overwhelming & more all rolled into one miracle. It's as awesome as it is weird. 

I have nursed 4 babies. Not at the same time... oye! I'm not an expert, I've just been there & am currently there. Both Maverick & Theo are currently in the "milk... It's what's easier for dinner" stage of nursing. What?!? You're unfamiliar with my completely made-up in my head stages of nursing?!? Let's remedy that...

Let's back up & tackle this in chronological order...

Not Ready-

That's what every mom-to-be is. Maybe you need to read your seventh book or talk to one more mom who's nursed and two others who didn't... Or maybe you're like me & are so weirded out by the thought of milk and babies surrounding what's been so over-sexualized by our culture that you are too uncomfortable to even think about it before the baby is born. Either way you're not ready. It's ok. If I was going to offer preparation advice it'd be to talk to someone you trust who's been or is there (even if you can't look them in the eyes during the conversation) & exfoliate... Use a loofa or the edge of a towel to gently build up some exposure to friction where you're hoping your baby will drink from... Yep. That just got real awkward real fast...

Deer In The Headlights-

Am I allowed to say "headlights" in a post about breast feeding? Moving forward... My nurse midwives have been incredible. The one who delivered my first born stuck that baby to me as soon as she took her first breath of air. I didn't know what was happening. I was shaking & laughing & crying happy tears & nursing a newborn all at once. That was good, because i didn't have to cloud the miracle with any awkward thoughts. I jumped the gorge of feeling embarrassed to even think about breast feeding to doing it before my epidural had completely worn off. I remember looking at my newborn daughter with complete amazement. Yes because it was a miracle, but mostly because I had no idea how to do what I was doing. I guess it's a good jump start to the reality of parenting. Out of the fog of amazement and wonder comes the next stage...

L-L-Lamenting (Latching & Leaking Problems)-

Nursing is hard. It hurts. It's frustrating. Right in the midst of recovering from evicting a human out of your womb a body part that you never expected to hurt starts burning like crazy. There's a crazy emotional battle when it's time to feed the baby because you really want them to latch (because nursing is important) and you really don't want them to latch (because nursing can be off the pain chart). There's a false feeling of rejection and failure when a baby struggles to latch on. The thought "this is never going to work" is always crouching nearby ready to spring into mind. And no one really know what lanolin actually does... But we use it like crazy anyway.  Often this short pain-ridden period is traversed only with the realization that it HAS to get better... Because NO one would nurse for longer than 2.1 days if it didn't improve. 

The problem is once the latching thing starts to get rolling the milk has arrived. It's never the right amount at first. Some moms worry that they're starving their baby while others could nourish a small country with their abundant supply. You no longer recognize the size of the chest on your own body and you have a new ability to squirt milk... You just don't really have control over said ability. So you leak. In the shower, while you sleep, when you let down, when a baby cries... If you're in this stage for the first time PLEASE know this: it DOES get better. Your body is created to produce the amount of milk your baby needs. It just takes some adjustment time. I recommend giving nursing a two week commitment before giving into the "it's never going to work" thought. Your laments won't be completely gone, but you'll see enough improvements to know you can make it. Also rely heavily on lactation consultants, cotton breast pad, spit rags and other moms who have been where you are. You can do it. It is worth it. 

Cry And Cuddle-

This stage is full of hormones. I have no medical understanding of what exactly happens in the chemical land of post-partum but I've been there & it's crazy. Nursing rolls right along with the highs and lows of hormonal and mental adjustments. Getting to snuggle your teeny tiny person for hours on end while they make the sweetest expressions & sounds whilst they drink is unbelievable. This time makes you be still. Nursing causes you to take time to feel... to process... to bond... to cry when you need to but can't explain why... All while cuddling. It's good. Very good. Don't sucome to worry. Don't stress over a schedule (in fact give your baby all the milk and sleep that little body demands without even a resemblance of a schedule for the first 3-4 weeks). Don't play the baby comparison game with your husband's cousin's whose baby is 9 days younger than your baby but is already turning cartwheels & sleeping for 14 hours at night... Just cuddle close & cry tears of joy or stress or sadness or amazement and watch your baby change drastically as you adjust... Because adjustment brings about...

Rythym Established- 

It does happen! Your milk supply starts to match up to what the baby needs, so you leak less. You develop the super power to predict when your baby will need to nurse, which means you can make plans of sorts. Your baby has improved at nursing and is more efficient, so you no longer feel like you're anchored to the couch for 40 mins of every other hour. You can be "normal" even though you're nursing! Tip for pumping: If you have trouble getting any milk when pumping, try to pump while nursing. Your baby will cause you to let down and you'll get a lot of milk and you don't have to try to find time to try to pump when your body isn't used to producing milk. Also signing "milk" when you nurse will help your baby learn to communicate with less whining. 

Nursing Is Easier Than Dinner-

Spoon feeding isn't my favorite act of infancy. I realized with my first baby if I put it off long enough it didn't last very long... Like 2 weeks then on to soft solids. Lets just say that child #2 and #3 were having none of that "waiting long enough" gig. They came out interested in steak & pizza. Baby #4 requires me to slow down more & his extreme enjoyment of baby food is pretty contagious... Even for this hurried, impatient, dislike-the-mess mama. Baby food is easy to forget at home. Impatient baby mouths make mean-sounding threats if you happen to try to sneak in a bite of your own food during the hour in which they expect a constant stream of spoons of baby food. Babies love to feel the food with their hands, their face, their hair, your hair... It is in this light that I often think "I'll just nurse the boys now... We can do food later..." After all, milk is always with me. Always ready. Always the right temperature. It calms them down when upset. It calms me down if I'm upset. Helps them to sleep. There's no pickiness involved. They can eat while you lay down. Not so much with baby food. This should give you hope if you're reading this in the middle of your L-L-Lamenting stage. It gets to the point where milk is what's for dinner by your choice. Tip: If you are still predominately nursing, don't stress about baby food. See it as a way to introduce new flavors & textures, not as a three meal a day regimen that you must abide by.

Prolonged Panic-

This is the slightly irrational fear that you won't actually ever stop nursing your child. Whether you have a baby who still wakes in the middle of the night to nurse, or you actually did the math on how long you have been the source of nutrition for this person, or possibly you're feeling controled by a four-hour leash, or maybe your ginormous infant wants to eat 5-course meals three times a day and still nurse as often as his premie brother whose superpower of Down syndrome requires his main source of calories be from milk (like me... there's a chance i might be experiencing some of this stage as I write...) Habbits like pinching (those baby nails are crazy!!!) and the introduction of teeth (a little flick on the cheek is how I deal with biting) and the smell of constant spit up don't help this stage. Nevertheless the fear that breast feeding won't end is a lie. As with all lies, the truth is what will set you free. Nursing is so very fleeting. Once it's over you have the rest of your child's life to not do it. Many women would switch places with those of us who are blessed to be able to nurse our babies in an instant if they could. I'm not belittling the effort it requires. I'm not denying that it is draining. I'm only suggesting some perspective. It will be over one day... and we will miss it. So let's determine to breathe and spend these moments looking at our babies. Let's enjoy the moments we can & realize the ones we simply can't are passing. 

Weaning-

Yep. This pretty much directly follows the panic stage. It could take you 6 weeks or 6 years of nursing to get you here. It could be involuntary or you might have fought hard and long to arrive. You may feel depressed at the end of this era or be wearing your "normal" bras and long, maxi dresses with excited victory. So far my weaning expiriences have been extremely smooth & easy beginning with the introduction of cow's milk around a year. Hannah weaned completely when I went on a 5-day wilderness canoe trip & i left her with family. Mic just lost interest in nursing before bed (the only time we were nursing at that point). This time around I have NO clue what weaning will look like since I'm nursing two very different babies. Theo will require more time nursing... Therefore so will Maverick. I'm currently switching him to the side that produces less so Theo can get more milk from my super-producer (yes that's too much information... but maybe you thought you were the only one with a big difference in production per side... Now you know you're not). I'm planning on introducing cow's milk at around Maverick's 1-year birthday (which is close to Theo's adjusted 1-year birthday) and seeing where we go from there. I'm more tired this time around. I produce more milk this time around. I have twice the demand this time around... And yet I'm more at peace with the prospect of a longer weaning process. The difference is having years of not nursing my first two babies to grasp how fleeting of a process it really is. Also we're  praying that around that time Theo will no longer need his G-tube at all (we're currently at 3 weeks of not using it!!!) so that excitement trumps wearing a normal bra... for awhile. 

Nostalgia-

Ahhh the memories... At this stage you've finished nursing and you have drier sheets, looser fitting shirts, more energy, and require babysitters to stay for longer periods of time... The rate at which nostalgia sets in is directly proportional to how long the weaning process took you. But you will look back with delight on the moments of sweet sounds, private looks, milk-drunk smiles, close cuddles, hair twirling, finger holding, little hands patting, and lots of sleepy rocking. After all, you are the only person who had that view. For as long or as short as you were able to nurse, you shared it with your baby. Be thankful. Be encouraging to moms who are struggling. Don't ever be judgmental. I praise The Lord for allowing me to nurse my four babies. It is a miracle that I am glad I struggled for. 

If you have more questions or need more tips I'm obviously WAY past being uncomfortable talking about breast feeding. Again... I'm stating clearly that I'm not an expert, just willing to share what I know. However lactation consultants are experts & they're awesome. So don't walk thru this alone. 

Quandaries

Things I ponder...

How do they know Theo is near-sighted if he doesn't yet know the letters of the alphabet?

Am I lying when I repeat the phrase "I will not repeat myself" over & over thru out the day?

Why does it take my daughter 6 minutes to wash her face but I can't get her to brush her teeth for longer than 27 seconds?

Why does Mic randomly say "chicken"? Or better yet... Why don't more people randomly say "chicken"?

Can I just allow the older two to eat in the living room, not vacuum & let Maverick crawl around & call it "introducing solids"? Or do parents get called in on that?

What's up with pens? The nice writing, expensive ones are never around... But the out-of-ink, from the festival booth, pretty-sure-I-already-threw-you-away ones are multiplying in my junk drawer? 

How do we know people are color blind? If I teach my babies to call what they see "red" but they're seeing different colors how would I know?

Does Maverick's pointer finger work like a bug's antenna?

Is having a telephone up to my ear the international sign for "tell mom a story right now"?

Does it count as tummy time if Theo is laying on his belly on my belly & we may both be sleeping?

Do only hillbillies bathe their children outside with the hose while watering the garden?

At what age does it change from "she's learning to ride a bike" to "I don't ride bikes"?

Who invented singlets & why do wrestlers still sign up for that sport if they know they will be required to wear one?

Why do I dislike my own crooked teeth so much yet absolutely adore my son's snaggley grin?

From which source do I truly seek strength for my day: the Holy Spirit or caffeine?

Isn't it weird that the word weird doesn't follow the "i before e except after c and when it says a" rule?

Since we're on spelling... Which letters are supposed to be doubled in "tomorrow"? And is there anyone out there who can actually spell "restaurant" correctly without auto fill?

Why is it important for kids to learn nursery rhymes?

What do my children have against covering up with a flat sheet?

What happened to phone booths? I mean, obviously we're not using them anymore, but are they still around? Or did people get hired to take them somewhere? Is this a profession? Is there an A&E show about people who move phone booths into warehouses or something?

Why make the bed when you're just going to sleep in it again? Should I also be tying my shoes after I take them off?

How come water fights are so fun? You're both trying to get wet but not get wet at the same time...

Who first came up with the idea for Mount Rushmore? And did anyone think he was kidding?

Is there a lego gene that enables some people to create from legos? Because I don't have that gene... 

Are there Spanish-speaking people who can't roll their "r's"? Because I think I have a Spanish speech impediment. 

Why won't they make more Avitar movies (The water bending one not the live-action Ferngully one)?

Are female mimes called ma'ams?*

Why am I suddenly clever when I should be sleeping?

*props: while I do ponder this, it is only because my hilarious & way-too-clever-when-I'm-trying-to-sleep husband brought it up... I'm fairly certain this is APA correct siting happening here...

Learning together...

Motherhood is a team sport. 

You realize how little you know when you step into the world for the first time with your baby in your arms instead of your gut. It's overwhelming and marvelously terrifying... Because we all could benefit from a larger grasp on how little we truly know...

First thing I suggest learning is this: we need each other. We need other moms. Moms who are right where we are, moms who have made it thru, moms who are just starting what we just passed, moms who are different from us, and moms who see things similarly... We need them to help us & challenge us & inform us & comfort us... We need to watch & listen & talk & observe... We need to learn what works & what doesn't work & what just doesn't work for us... 

This crucial first lesson is the key to unlocking a world of answers, tips & tricks to thriving in motherhood. A sampling of the life-altering wisdom & tid-bits I've drawn from other moms...

- the days are long but the years are short

- teaching babies "no" is easier than teaching a 2 or 4 or 13 year old "no"

- baby wipes take almost anything off of almost anything

- baby food is not a big deal

- be the parent by setting the expectations & boundaries 

- enjoy my kids

- listening is invaluable 

- mom spit somehow kills germs off of fallen pacifiers & utensils

- consistency is key

- laying a baby who is awake down to play is more than ok

- sometimes a baby just needs to cry

- sometimes a mama just needs to join in said crying

- kisses & snuggles should be doled out in excess 

- potty training a boy requires a long t-shirt, carpet spray, and nothing else...

- tuck in time is important

- don't automatically say "no"

- playing like a kid with my kids is fun... even when it doesn't sound fun

- how to wear a baby

- limit my cautions to things that require more than a cast to heal so that I don't instill unnecessary fear

- get rid of stuff... excess is overwhelming for everyone 

- when a baby won't stop crying & the "losing it" feeling is creeping in... lay them down somewhere safe & walk outside for a quiet breath & prayer... don't escalate with the baby 

- there are worse things than Santa not being real

- my words are powerful even when I don't mean them

- read to my babies

- teach babies to sign & it cuts down on the whining

- be strict enough that I like my kids & easy going enough to like myself

- every opportunity is a teaching opportunity

- provide appropriate clothing then let them wear what they want to wear... even if it's baseball gear to church 

- just because they're awake doesn't mean it's time to get up

- guard them... their eyes, their ears, their hearts... guard them

- wrestle them... often

- spank... but not in anger

- put the baby bouncy seat in the bathroom so i can shower while they play

- discuss what they see on tv & in public that is not biblical

- nap when they do anytime I can

- make them search for me in hide & seek

- I don't have to keep everything 

- school pictures aren't a necessary purchase

- blow outs mean its time to go up a size in diapers

- movies can be memory-makers too

- "go play" is a necessary instruction

- God has a purpose for my kids' lives right now 

- nap time can still be enforced even when they no longer sleep

- nursing is great... hard but great

- celebrate summer vacation

- always answer honestly... even when it's a hard answer

- point baby boy parts down while diapering

- early bed times = better behaved children (& adolescents)

- my goal shouldn't be "fairness" but what's needed for each individual 

- parent with grace & truth

- support them in doing what they want to do but are scared to do

- they're in real danger of catching my self-hatred if Christ doesn't intervene 

- leave them with trusted sitters early in life

- it's ok to parent differently...

My hope is each mom who reads this will be as blessed by the team of moms around them as I am. Fight judegemental condesencion or fearful solitude... none of us know it all. Reach out in love today. You're not meant to mother alone...

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored..." (Titus 2:3-5)